Going through the grief process is like waiting in line to get a wounded limb amputated.

Going through the grief process is like waiting in line to get a wounded limb amputated. 

Now, I’ve never gone through any amputation more severe than a haircut, but I hope I can make this analogy work. 

When we suffer the loss of someone we love, we get in line and begin the grieving process. Not everyone experiences it the same way and some get through it faster than others, but it is necessary to everyone. It cannot be rushed. You can’t skip the line. 

If you skip the line, you’ll miss the checkups conducted by hospital staff to make sure you’re ready for your surgery. If you miss these checkups, you may not know what proper steps to take in preparation for the operation. 

And even after we finally get through the line and get the surgery, though the pain won’t be as pervasive, we still have to live without something we couldn't imagine losing.

The same applies for grief. 

Steps and and moments within the process that may seem tedious and unnecessary in the present may be the ones you look back on as the most helpful. 

I recently lost someone important in my life and it crippled me. It crippled me like a torn up limb would. However, I tried to continue on as though nothing was wrong. I tried to walk, run, and jump in spite of a great pain, but it was futile. 

The loss I suffered was not something I could leave unattended. As much as I wanted to be someone who could take grief in stride and only see the beauty and peace in death, I had to embrace the process of healing like everyone else.

I had to get in line for my amputation. 

And I’ll tell you first hand, the line sucks. Or at least, it sucks at the beginning. 

You are enduring something you never wanted to and you are struggling to accept the fact that as challenging as it is, it is equally as crucial. 

Who should you turn to for guidance? I mean, everyone else in line next to you is probably going through the same thing, so you’ll receive more understanding than actual direction. 

However, as you get further and further up the line, you start to see the people who have gotten through the line, received the surgery, and appear to be in a much more comfortable state than you have been feeling. 

You start to think, “Maybe this waiting will be worth it after all.”

And more often than not, it is. 

It certainly was for me. 

Now, I am definitely still healing, but any pain I still feel serves me as a reminder of not how someone special to me is gone, but of how much I was able to love and be loved by someone in this world. 

If you ever find yourself stumbling within a state of grief, remember only you can put yourself into the line. Only you can initiate your own, unique healing process. When you do, everything else will fall into place.

Wishing you peace,

Z3